watch that sun set

--[flashback to april]--
this is that moment before everything changed...

some beautiful reality

so that night in april, the phone rings, twice.

suddenly there is a pain that i feel so deeply it's like empty teeth
morning grief

i need my family, and i am 6000 miles away

and. i can't go home. other obligations.

there is a blur, time passes
i don't remember a thing
except crying and packing
not only for wintery weather, but for a subletter
my life reduced to a closet

and hawaii just makes fun of me all week, i swear.
all smiley faces and sunshine while i sink into some semblance of a cocoon, some moment of immense sadness. i don't sleep for days.
and then we drive me to get on that plane, the one that takes me to a job.

i don't remember the flight at all. it's as if honolulu becomes seattle...

as if these cloudless skies are reflecting this echo inside

well i told you that in the beginning...

a conversation with myself
starts and ends
with reprimands

my first pseudo home here, keiki beach / log cabins.
whales n shells
so many memories

and makin s'more...
easter lobster and an easter egg sky

and the lines of my second home

just a day off, an afternoon off here and there
center me

a trail that went up and up and up and views that took my breath.
gave you the power,
nevermind.

what was it anyway

road trips, flap jacks, and pau hana

oops. happy valentines day!
i'm a little behind schedule this month,
but i've been working hard.

The Forrest Through the Trees

and Abacus.

Using one of these devices as a child made math seem less abstract. Now I know how to add (believe it or not) but getting back to the fundamentals never seemed more appropriate. Paying my respects to the beginning of things.
Which comes first, the tree, the seed.


maybe it was in honor of the month that celebrates true love. maybe that's why this praying mantis was trying to romance my flip flop outside of haleiwa eats. try the chicken panang curry. it's amazing!


and haleiwa cafe serves up a mean breakfast in a barrel although this morning we were all slightly distracted by the love letter forrest received from a neighboring table.
flapjacks anyone?
we had to celebrate because gavin's song would be airing during a coke commercial during the superbowl!

the north shore was raaaaainy for a little bit there...we decided a road trip ~island style~ might be just the thing to cure the winter blues.
especially since you can see this entire island even if you start out around noon!

so from the west side we traveled east, into the rain.
but no road trip would be complete without at least a taste of the koolau mountains...

alas, then it was back to work for me for a second. on the uss missouri for indigo. we were so mad we had to work.

kidding!
i got mooned by some navy dudes and one of them was so drunk he climbed up onto the cannon reminding us all of cher in the turn back time video.
i always wanted to do that!
but he got some sharp words from the matriarch of the ship.

while we enjoyed a little pau hana.

well placed shaker

yep.

hiking pretty much does it for me every time...
especially with my "sister."
i came back with a stack of paperbark, some seedpods, the usual.
thinking of a few art projects.
a long time ago, one of my very metropolitan friends was interrogating me about all of this time i spend
out there.
why? she wondered
what do you Do Out There?
i couldn't understand how she didn't understand the value of spending time with nature.
but i couldn't explain it either.


but the rest of this post she would probably understand.
good people.

lou is one of my favorite friends ever, such a real person!

his birthday was a blast
and reminded me of another time when he struck a solitary pose with a single balloon...

well placed shaker?