glugs, snarfing, and too much love.

sitting with my friend last night in the living room, the scream of brakes and a dull thud.
a man i see on the bus sometimes
had been walking the line in the center of the road.
right in front of my house.
ambulance lights, he will survive...
surely he knew better,
but do i feel sorry for him?
i do, and i feel equally sorry for the man who hit him.
what a terrible thing.


well,
i could go this way or i could go that way...
life is sad life is great.
okay fine life is great.






















i like how the wind gave my sister a moustache^^^










i also like how my sister is outdoing me at every turn. oh man world look out!

watch that sun set

--[flashback to april]--
this is that moment before everything changed...

some beautiful reality

so that night in april, the phone rings, twice.

suddenly there is a pain that i feel so deeply it's like empty teeth
morning grief

i need my family, and i am 6000 miles away

and. i can't go home. other obligations.

there is a blur, time passes
i don't remember a thing
except crying and packing
not only for wintery weather, but for a subletter
my life reduced to a closet

and hawaii just makes fun of me all week, i swear.
all smiley faces and sunshine while i sink into some semblance of a cocoon, some moment of immense sadness. i don't sleep for days.
and then we drive me to get on that plane, the one that takes me to a job.

i don't remember the flight at all. it's as if honolulu becomes seattle...

as if these cloudless skies are reflecting this echo inside