another word on freedom...

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i could be talking to anyone, anything.
a wall.

this big beautiful thing owned by no one
why sacrifice all of that for just this.
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and the wind blows right through me

i should be ready for things i'm not ready for, i suppose.
there is a quiet in my life, a void i'm in no hurry to fill, because now i feel better.

i remember long ago crying about some boy.
my friend had to tell me something, she had to tell on him that he wasn't who i thought he was.
i sat at a table in her cafe, tears spilling into my hot cider.
feeling this feeling like i couldn't breathe.
she explained it to me like this, "---" needs to be free! he is a free spirit! he cages himself but the truth is he needs to be free!
later on
years and years later, another boy, another tear spilled
this one thought
the absolute worst of me, that i was some demon.
dude.
seriously?
do you even know me?

i would like to thank each of them, each and every jerk i've dated for not trapping me.
cause where would i be???
certainly not following my dreams...
...certainly i wouldn't really even be me.

everything except the paper doll dress

these photos are old. and i am not a daily blogger. i'm just procrastinating doing my taxes. actually i'm in the middle of them and it's really not fun.

but fat tuesday last month was fun for some people! i was working in front of indigo, which was a great place to run into just about everyone, especially these crazy fun friends...angela, christen, and cori
i was supertame that night, just enjoying the people watching.

where oh where do you take lindsay on a hike, i ask myself. after all this rain, who wants to mudwrestle with a mountain?
so peacock flats one more time...

umm we got soaked

it was absolutely beautiful

so i returned a call,
after i calmed down. i decided it was time to be a good friend,
no matter what.


take a long drive.

maybe two.

but no more of this bus stop business for at least a quick minute...
patience.

i'm trying to accept that patience and desire
are the only tools i require.
they've gotten me this far!
into my own car!
oh lord i am so the worst poet.
cause that sucked.
plus i can't think of a thing that rhymes with risk, and that's the other part of the equation.
...
oh well.


windows and walls.


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there's been a lot of art being made, and unfortunately on my quest to design tattoos as a commission from a friend, i found one i want!

just the green and purple plant travelling up my side might be nice...
it's from the best book ever,
Drawing Upon Nature: Studies for the Blaschkas' Glass Models

perhaps i'll look back at this in a year and still want it.
perhaps.

for now i'm a little gun.shy.


so the east...

and the north...

and whatever's inbetween
(me and feeling fine)

longest post ever

the floodthe drive

and the best art i saw at first friday...

and friends! who can believe all these kids were out and about!





followed by the craziest week of birthdays yet...

let's start with angela's
kualoa ranch for ziggy marley surf roots whatever. as anyone who knows me knows, i am so ridiculously burned out on reggae. but going to these shows is too much fun, especially because i got to catch up with many friends!


the gentleman standing up in the above photo was going around tackling people and sloshing around his pepsi bottle of tobacco spit. charmed i'm sure.

here it is, let's call this the juxtaposition that is my life.

we kept the celebration going with an indoor pool party, a hot tub, and the ocean in hawaii kai
oh you know just john travolta's old house.
wha...???

this is where i go now in the best of my dreams

yes those are cinammon rolls and yes that's bacon too. and no i've never had such an amazing day of indulgence and relaxation.


oh right except for the fact that christen, angela, and i were running the honolulu marathon...

or not.

more like...
only picture a few more comfy chairs, a table with perrier and fresh fruit, and a bunch of mad runners who wanted to kick us where the sun don't shine...yes the morning was good, and the afternoon was even better. picture nothing but hot tubbing, ocean floating, indoor pool swimming, and olive tree eating.

and this is only the beginning of the birthday extravaganzas...

i'm so ashamed that i don't have more pictures from amanda's 25th birthday barbeque! but here she is at the end of a fun fun night with her new puppy ollie and her sweet husband corey and a baskin robbins mint chocolate chip ice cream cake...so great!



the next morning after yoga and starbucks, catching some of the triple crown surf contest on my way to millilani for errands. its a tough life kid.




and the next day, a beautiful drive to pick out a christmas tree on alissa's 30th birthday!






followed by a little dinner at haleiwa joe's, a little sashamon, and some hippies crashing our party (don't worry, we know them)



so. i hear they don't call it dirty thirty for nothing...party favors included of course glass moustaches...





lou swearing he's only intoxicated by the scent of my hair

what a crazy fun night, and then...

emily and her amazing photographs!
erin and her beautiful jewelry!



nerd alert!


and the best christmas lights i have ever seen...the bunny in a santa suit on the upper right whose rear end was moving from side to side (?) umm. happy holidays?



i wish every morning i woke up to the ocean in mokuleia with a cold. ok well not with a cold but you know what i mean.